Alfred Batista and Ethan Faria are 13 year old boys living in Goa. Alfred is very “pretty” and is often teased by other boys “as one with a pussy”. However, it is Ethan who nurtures a secret desire to be a girl.

The boys’ life changes when a traveling Spanish circus called ‘Esplendor Circus’ comes to town. On the night of a show, the circus’s owner and manager realizes that the star attraction of their circus: a talking parrot is missing. Alfred is tricked into wearing girls’ clothes and is paraded as a part of the exotic animal menagerie to divert people’s attention away from the missing parrot. None of Alfred’s friends recognize him.

The pretty ‘girl’ in the menagerie is a huge success and the owner makes a lot of money. He and the manager are now reluctant to let Alfred go. As Alfred tries to fight them and leave for home he is raped by the manager, Ruiz, in a bid to ‘tame’ Alfred. Alfred’s spirit is partly broken.

Alfred is dressed as an Arabian dancer and is displayed in the menagerie for a second consecutive night. He undergoes the motions of spinning the hula-hoop with distress. At the end of the show, Alfred spots Ethan who has come to the circus the next day too. He narrates the horror of his ordeal to his friend.


Alfred Batista/Angie: is the protagonist of the story. He is a “pretty” boy, with enormous blue eyes, pink apple-like cheeks and red hair. At 13, he is 5’3 and doesn’t yet display signs of puberty. However, Alfred’s tastes are “boyish”: He is interested in fishing and soccer.

Ethan Faria/Yvette: is the protagonist’s best friend. At 13, he’s 5’5, lean, dusky and has black eyes and hair. Though Ethan looks manlier than Alfred, he nurtures a secret desire to be a girl. He isn’t interested in sports, but enjoys cooking.

Ronnie: is the protagonist’s girl friend. At 15, she is 5’5, ash blond, baby faced, has leaf green eyes and a voluptuous figure. She has been sold off by her parents to circus owner Mendoza at age 11. Subsequently, Ronnie is raped by circus manager, Ruiz and is given estrogen hormone injections to speed up the development of her child-like body. She subsequently works as the hula hoop girl in the circus.


Claudio Ruiz: is the savage animal-trainer cum manager of Esplendor Circus. Ruiz is 34 years old and is dark and skinny. He has long greasy black hair, replete with lice and crooked rotting teeth. He decorates his eyes with kohl and wears an animal talon necklace around his neck.

After Lucio the parrot goes missing, Ruiz finds Alfred as a substitute star attraction. He tricks Alfred into dressing like a girl and displays him in the exotic animals’ menagerie. The following day when Alfred tries to attack Ruiz, Ruiz rapes him. He forces Alfred to dress as an Arabian dancer and displays him in the menagerie for a second consecutive night.

Desi Mendoza: is the owner of Esplendor Circus. He is 50 years old, has a lined face, snub nose and pig-like eyes. Mendoza is fat and jowly. In spite of being the boss, Mendoza has got into the habit of taking directions from his subordinate, Ruiz.

After the talking parrot goes missing, Mendoza becomes panicky as the parrot is the star attraction of the show. He calms down at Ruiz’s behest and lets him go with the idea of using a feminized Alfred in the exotic animal menagerie.


Feminized in Circus

Forced to Work as a Girl

Chapter 1 – A Pretty Boy

‘Your cane ain’t big enough’ said Alfred Batista ‘If you want to hook big fish, you’re gonna need a longer rod’.

‘How about this?’ said Ethan Faria, chopping off a longer cane of bamboo and holding it up for his friend for approval. ‘Yeah, that’s cool’ said Alfred appraising the rod approvingly ‘Long enough for the fishing line to be tied’. At thirteen, Alfred was probably the prettiest boy who existed on the planet. He was 5 feet 3 inches tall, lean and had the face of an angel. His face was yet devoid of hair and voice silky as a girl’s. Alfred loved sports, especially fishing and soccer.

‘So, I trim off the leaves next, right?’ asked Ethan, holding up the bamboo stick. Alfred nodded. Ethan proceeded to methodically scrap extraneous materials off the bamboo. He was the same age as Alfred, but extremely different in appearance. He was 5 feet 5 inches tall, was reed thin and had a lean dusky face like most local Goans. Unlike Alfred’s, Ethan’s voice had cracked. Hints of a moustache could be seen on his upper-lip. Yet, character-wise, he was the more effeminate of the two. ..Both boys lived in a small fishing village with lots of creeks, fields and coconut trees. The town had some exquisite Portuguese Baroque style buildings and charming old villas. The riverside, speckled with brightly white washed houses and wrought-iron balconies, offered a pretty view.

As the boys crossed cobbled alleys teeming with quaint old taverns and cafes, they came across a group of 17 year olds playing soccer. Ethan was keen on getting away, but Alfred stopped. ‘Will you please let me strike?’ he asked one of the older boys. ‘Ha! The runt wants to strike’ sniggered a burly hirsute specimen.

‘The pretty one with a pussy wants to play with guys’ his cocky, squat friend drawled. Nevertheless, the defenders passed the ball. Alfred caught it up and served it perfectly. The ball surged high in the air. The defenders and midfielders poised themselves to catch it. Everyone held their breath. The ball hit the goal. ‘The runt with a pussy’ had scored a goal.

The older boys watched the retreating figures of Alfred and Ethan. Ethan turned back to note an expression of desire and amazement on their faces. It was as if lust was written all over them. Imagining a hypothetical situation in which Alfred had a vagina, the guys would definitely have liked to slide their freshly-functioning fast burgeoning cocks into his pussy. Though Ethan loved Alfred as much as he would a brother, Ethan felt a stab of jealousy. It was he who wanted to be ogled at, coveted and chased. Belying his boyish appearance, Ethan fantasized about being a girl. When no one was around, he wore his sister’s dresses and bedaubed himself with his mother’s makeup. The act was his guiltiest pleasure. Ethan felt the same horrible envy pierce his heart when he heard the bed of his sister’s room creaking. The young wild animal-like sounds of his sister and her boyfriend making love made him go a terrible shade of green. Ethan was indisputably and undeniably gay.

As they passed the huge bell standing in the church of Immaculate Conception, Ethan said to Albert ‘A traveling circus is in town, you know’.

‘A traveling circus?’ said Alfred still thinking about soccer and fishing.

‘Yes, the Esplendor Circus from Spain!’ said his friend, his eyes shining ‘they are going to put it up in the huge grounds behind the Church Square. Marco had been there with his parents yesterday. He couldn’t stop talking about the performing monkeys, trapeze artists and puppeteers. But most of all he spoke about Lucio. Everyone in town’s talking about Lucio…’

‘Who’s Lucio?’ asked Alfred vaguely recalling the ways and means his dad had taught him to bait fish ‘Is he a performing artist of something?’

‘It would be wrong to call Lucio that’ admitted Ethan ‘He is an extremely bright parrot who is fluent in 7 different European languages. Marco was saying he is especially proficient in using expletives. Apparently, Lucio called the ring master a ‘blooding fucking little slut’. A shocked Mrs. D’Costa tried to cover her son’s ears with her prudish hands. But it was too late. Marco had already heard!’. Ethan laughed uproariously.

Alfred joined him. ‘Man, Lucio sounds like some parrot!’. He remarked ‘we must go to the circus’.

‘Great!’ said Ethan ‘Shall I get the other guys along? The show starts at eight’.

‘Fine’ said Alfred ‘How much are the tickets?’

‘Thirty dollars….something like that’ said Ethan.

Alfred made quick calculations in his head. He discovered that his pocket money would suffice to cover the expenses. He wouldn’t have to coax his old man to give him money. He told Ethan that they’d walk down to grounds behind Church Square at 7 pm.

A group of five boys set out at 7 pm. Alfred was dressed in his dandiest suit that he reserved for the Sunday’s mass: A navy blue pinstriped suit with a white shirt, a peaked lapel and a pink necktie that went along with his rosy cheeks. Like a good little boy, he paired them with a clean pair of light blue socks and black polished loafers. He wore a pair of silver cuff-links his granddad had given him before he passed away. Before leaving, Alfred’s mother attached a little pink rose in his button hole, gave him bag of apples and said: ‘Enjoy yourself, darling. Come home as soon as the show ends. No loitering around. There’d be many a crook prowling around to whisk off pretty children’.

‘I am not a child!’ Alfred protested ‘besides, I am not a girl’.

‘You’re no less prettier than one’ Alfred’s mom laughed

Like most young boys on the cusp of manhood, Alfred didn’t like his mother’s comment. He sulkily joined Ethan and his other friends waiting outside. They walked through creeks, baroque style buildings and enchanting villas before they finally reached the Church Square. As he heard the revelry: excited squeals and merriment of the crowds in the grounds behind it, Alfred’s heart swelled with a kind of unknown pleasure. A foreign circus, one that boasted of a talking parrot, was here! In spite of having Portuguese roots, Alfred had led a sheltered life in Goa and hadn’t seen any foreigners. He found his first prospective encounter with the outside world exciting beyond imagination.

The sprawling rented hall was lit up like a golden palace. Yellow bulbs adorning its surface glittered like glorious stars. A board right in front proclaimed ‘Espendor Circus’ is in big capital letters. Under it was a billboard bearing pictures of acrobats swinging two and fro, monkeys dressed as clowns, trapeze artists and a magnified image of the renowned Lucio: the talking parrot. He was a pretty striking bird with a blue face, a purple crown, a bright green crest, a chest with interspersed fluffy orange and golden feathers and a greenish flank. His wing shaft and tail were of the same bright yellow hue. Alfred noticed that Lucio’s beak and claws were as razor sharp as his tongue was supposed to be. Alfred sneaked a peek inside the circus and saw a majestic elevated platform covered with striped curtains. There were seats in front of the stage as well as side galleries, meant to accommodate a sizeable crowd. Alfred felt a tinge of excitement at the pit of his stomach, wondering what lay behind the stage or, for that matter, what life on stage would be like.

A little midget dressed as a maharaja, in tight red leggings, a kurta and a golden turban, chaperoning an elaborately adorned elephant with a howdah on its back, broke into Alfred’s reverie. ‘Tickets this way please’ he beckoned towards the counter. Albert moved towards the counter with his friends in tow. The tallest boy in the group collected the money of the six other boys and paid the guy dispatching tickets in bulk. Subsequently, the boys heard the enticing tinkle of the cotton candy cart and flocked to it like ants. Alfred mannishly desisted. He didn’t think eating sticky fluffy cotton candy behooved a young man of 13. Giving his friends a contemptuous glance, he ambled towards the back of the hall. Absorbed in their juvenile sugary orgasms, the other boys didn’t notice.

The night air was cool on Alfred’s skin. Emboldened by the freshness it bestowed to the night, Alfred sauntered deeper into the back of the circus. It was suddenly as if the innocence of the pristine night had been ruined. The air suddenly smelled filthy: of decaying food, animal waste, pus and blood. Alfred realized that he had come to the enclosure the circus animals were imprisoned in. He saw sad looking parrots with their wings clipped. Alfred noticed that they had been put in cages without perches, forcing them to haplessly cling to a side. Cages bearing lions, tigers, bears and dogs looked as if they hadn’t been swept in ages. The food dishes which hadn’t been cleared had flies swarming to them. They gave out an unbearably strong reek. Horses, with their hind legs tied together, hobbled around limited distances, half-heartedly chewing on dried decayed-looking hay. Shackled elephants, tethered right in front, trampled on their own filth and waste. Alfred noticed that one was missing an eye and was also suffering from an especially bad sore on its side.

‘What an irony!’ said Alfred to himself ‘Esplendor Circus is beautiful to view, but is so full of cruel dark secrets inside!’. He remembered the bag of apples his mother had given him. Alfred was moved enough to salvage a few and give them to the one-eyed elephant one by one. Little did he know that this naïve action of his would be used against him in such a manner that that his innocent life would change forever.

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