- Title: Trapped in Lunatic Femininity
- Subtitle: Light Horror Transgender Novella
- Author: Yulia Yu. Sakurazawa
- Genderswap category: MTF
Hugo Karr is a social media celebrity with his countless selfies and inspirational stories. His vanity is rooted in his looks and ambitions. His muscular body and darkly handsome, symmetrical features attract women’s eyes, but he needs to learn the hard way that inspiration arises from awful life experiences.
Dyonne is a complex character with deadly sex appeal and evil brilliance, who prefers to create and dictate the terms instead of following them. Similar how she transforms her femme fatale look every day, she shows different sides of her personality to people. Troubled by her mood swings, she needs admirers and constant attention. Only having full dominance tames her down, but mutual respect was never really her thing.
As Far as my Chain Lets me
Hugo lay in his bed, eyelids twitching while a dream unfolded in wicked waves of horror and action. One of his legs hung down over the side of the bed, swinging in a slightly asymmetric rhythm; he was running in his sleep, though his brain partially blocked the physical reaction. His hand rested on book by Sappho, the Ancient Greek female poet, and inside, a sentence had been underlined: “There is no place for grief in a house which serves the Muse.” A tear rolled down his cheek.
Slowly, he opened his red, burning eyes, and for a few minutes, stared at the ceiling above. Everything was blurry.
I’m afraid it’s still here. . . . For sure, it’s still here. No fucking way I’m going to cooperate in this circus. I want out.
He looked over at a hanger that had been placed on his door, where it hung with a note. Hugo read it again, and everything that had gone down yesterday flashed in front of him.
“Have dinner with me! The draft has been sent. Time for a celebration. Wear this. XOXO, Dyonne.”
* * *
Daisy came in around six, holding a white silk jumpsuit on a hanger with a pearl necklace attached to its neck and a pair of high-heeled shoes dangling next to the garment. A complete woman’s outfit, exactly Hugo’s size.
An hour passed, and Hugo couldn’t force himself to put on that costume. Daisy came back, looked at him head to toe.
“You haven’t put on the chosen items.”
“No, Daisy, I won’t wear this. I’m not a transvestite.”
“As Dyonne’s assistant, you must follow the given dress code,” she said in a robotic tone with an expressionless face.
This girl’s brainwashed, just like everybody else here.
“Well, then I guess the celebration will have to wait,” Hugo replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I was given the order that if you resist, I have to close this door and keep it like that until you reconsider.”
“You mean, Dyonne told you to lock me up?”
“This is insane!” Hugo shouted, finally losing his patience, and he headed toward the door. Daisy stepped in front of him.
“I can’t let you,” she said.
“Get out of my way!” Hugo pushed her to the side, but the girl pulled something out of her pocket.
“I’m sorry!” she said quietly.
At once, Hugo saw a can of pepper spray in her hand, and as the OC gas reached the sensitive layers of his eyeballs, the capsaicin took effect. Hugo fell to his knees, crying out in agony, hands clawing through the air. He’d been temporarily blinded, and for hours he thought he’d die on the floor, locked up, alone, like a dog.
* * *
Twenty-four hours had passed, and the door handle still hadn’t moved. Multiple times, he’d banged on the door, swore and blustered, all to no avail.
So now, he realized it was time to do a little soul searching and explore his options.
Let’s face it. I left without letting anyone know where I was going. There’s a good chance nobody even saw me leaving the house, and I bet no security cameras had recorded it. So even if Seymour or someone else had reported me as a missing person, there’d be nothing to lead them here. They don’t keep phones in this place, and it’d be a waste of time to ask for my own phone back again. What would I say? Where am I, anyway? If I left, which way would I go without money, and on foot? We’re in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere. Dammit!
With a resigned sigh, Hugo took the clothes off the hanger. Desperate times called for drastic measures.
* * *
What a frozen little hand,
let me warm it for you.
What’s the use of looking?
We won’t find it in the dark.
it’s a moonlit night,
and the moon
is near us here.
I’m sick of this jerk’s namby-pamby performance, Hugo thought bitterly. But Dyonne clapped ecstatically when the last tone had faded out, and Ulrich bowed in front of her.
“Ah, that’s my favorite song from Puccini’s La Boheme! I’ve never heard it in English before. And Rodolfo is such a charmer, just like you, my Scandinavian wonder!” said Dyonne, and gave him a lengthy French kiss.
Hugo, on the other side of the long dining table, hadn’t even touched his duck, and had let his sake turn cold. All he could think of was whether Ulrich had a phone or not, and whether he could sneak into the security room to call for help.
“You seem very distracted, Hugo. You were supposed to celebrate tonight. What’s wrong?” Dyonne asked, eyes wide and innocent. Her fake eyelashes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly.
“You made me wear these girlie pajamas,” he said.
“Oh, you’ve become such a drama queen lately! Seriously, after all the work we’ve done together, after all the fun we’ve had, is it so hard to fulfill my tiny little wish? This is who you are, Hugo! Being handsome is one thing,” she said, “but becoming truly beautiful is an act of creation.”
“Well, I was thinking . . .” And Hugo himself was surprised by what he was about to say. “I don’t think this is a healthy working environment for me. I’d like to quit and go home.”
Dyonne didn’t reply immediately. Instead, she fixed her boobs, which were ready to pop out of the front of her heavy, leather evening gown. She picked at her teeth with one of her artificial fingernails. “This duck is a bit dry tonight.”
Ulrich finished his sake with a big gulp, and dug into his food, chewing with an expressionless face as if watching a movie on a distant screen.
Hugo was shocked by Dyonne’s reaction, and he continued with wild gesticulations.
“Please, don’t misunderstand me! I’m very grateful for you giving me a chance. But I do think that you and me, this whole assistant thing . . . it just won’t work out.”
Dyonne burst into hysterical laughter.
“Oh no, boy, we haven’t started yet.” She stabbed a knife into the table. “In fact, we’re just getting started.”
This looks bad. This looks very bad! And Hugo ran for the door, which opened automatically, the exit gate’s light shining about two hundred meters away.
“Guards, don’t let him escape!” she shouted.
Arms whipped out in front him, and two big men dragged Hugo back inside. His own arms had been twisted behind his back so he couldn’t move. Dyonne sauntered over to him.
“Do you know what my father did to me when I told him I’d decided to go for sex reassignment surgery? He stomped on my cock so hard I almost passed out from the pain. Do you know what my reaction was? Nothing. He thought he’d won, the poor bastard. A week later I tossed him into a cesspit. He died a miserable death, and his body was never found. No man will ever dominate me. No man. Do you understand?”
Hugo fought against the guards’ hold, but their grip was firm.
“Do you guys hear what she’s staying?” he cried out. “She’s a freak, a psycho!”
Dyonne pulled the knife free of the table. Her black gown swept along the floor as she strode closer to Hugo. She pressed the sharp blade to his neck.
“Did you think all that killing in my book was just fantasy? Did you think I couldn’t end the lives of men in every chapter if I didn’t mean it, if I didn’t enjoy it?”
When the blade nicked Hugo’s neck, adrenaline rushed through his body.
“Dyonne, why would you turn against me? I thought you loved me! I love you, you know!”
“Liar! All you men do is manipulate! Alpha male condescension. Fuck it. Here’s the deal.” She cut a strap off the jumpsuit,and it fell, revealing Hugo’s right nipple. She rested the blade against it. “I’ll give you one more chance to prove you love me. Let us operate on you. Let me make you into a girl. Be my faithful, grateful lover. Or die, right now. Because I won’t let you leave me.”
The room started to spin. Dyonne sliced off the other strap, and Hugo’s naked chest rose and fell quickly from rapid breaths as panic took over.
“No, no, no! I won’t be your female dog! I won’t be your slave! Kill me now, I don’t care!”
Dyonne shook her head and lowered the knife.
“Hugo, Hugo, you have so much to learn about life. But I’ll teach you, don’t worry. You’ll be happy here. Happier than you could be anywhere else.”
One guard shoved a handkerchief over Hugo’s mouth and nose, and a stinky liquid began to dim Hugo’s senses, spiraling him into some crazy dance surrounded by whirling phantoms. He was unable to physically scream, yet as he saw people dressed in white approach him with sharp surgical instruments, a muted scream echoed through his head, filling his mind with terror before everything went dark.
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